Waking Up with Dreams
A Queer Girls Dream Romance – Candy slowly opens her eyes as sunlight filters through the blinds, casting soft patterns across her room. She’s spent the past hour drifting between sleep and wakefulness, lost in a familiar daydream. These daydreams often carry the same comforting themes—romance, tender dates, and visions of shared futures. They’re like old films bathed in golden light, filled with love and longing. Despite her usual critique of the “one true love” trope in heteronormative romances, Candy can’t help but embrace it in her private fantasies.
In today’s reverie, Candy sits beside a river with Tiffany, a femme she met only hours ago. She imagines herself in a new town, housesitting for friends, and stumbling upon a cosy bar by the river, marked discreetly with a small rainbow flag. The bar’s atmosphere, with its history as a haven for older butch/femme couples, offers both warmth and tension. Candy stands out as the only trans woman present. When she catches Tiffany’s eye as she sings onstage, a silent connection sparks between them.
The Daydream Setting
In Candy’s mind, the daydream plays out in vivid scenes. The bar feels like a relic of another era, its patrons older and familiar with one another’s stories. Among them, Tiffany stands out—a radiant presence onstage who draws Candy’s gaze. Their brief eye contact holds a quiet promise, a flicker of interest that transforms the evening. As a slow country ballad starts to play, the bar’s patrons rise to dance, leaving Candy momentarily alone. She feels a gentle tap on her shoulder and turns to see Tiffany, hand extended and smiling, asking, “Wanna dance?”
The night becomes a blur of shared moments—intimate conversations, laughter, and stolen kisses. They retreat to Tiffany’s car, where connection deepens into tender intimacy. For Candy, it feels natural and safe, a welcome refuge from loneliness. As dawn breaks, they sit together by the water, the rising sun painting the sky in soft colours. Tiffany kisses her cheek, a bittersweet farewell before parting. Even as a daydream, it comforts and stings, reminding Candy of her longing.
Reality and Reflection
Candy blinks away the remnants of her daydream, a soft smile playing at her lips. But as reality seeps in, she feels the familiar ache—the daydreams are beautiful but cruel. They tease her with romance, sweetness, and connection, then remind her of the gap between fantasy and her current reality. Candy has known love and tenderness before; these stories aren’t entirely fiction. Yet, it’s been so long since she’s shared intimacy with someone that her daydreams can sometimes feel more real than her own memories.
She rises, pushing away the longing, and heads to the bathroom. The daily ritual of shaving brings both relief and discomfort. The prickly sensation of facial hair, though less prominent since starting hormones, still triggers dysphoria. Candy takes a deep breath, steadying herself, and glides the razor carefully. It’s a small act, but it connects her back to herself—a mixture of pain and resilience, past and present. As she washes her face, she catches her reflection, pausing to look at the woman she’s fought so hard to become. There’s exhaustion in her eyes, but also a determined spark—a love for herself that coexists with every heartbreak, every hope, every scar.
Daily Routine Grounded in Love
Candy’s morning continues with a routine that blends the mundane with moments of self-reflection. She prepares a simple breakfast, each action deliberate, grounding herself in the present. While cooking, her mind drifts to past relationships—brief flings and fleeting moments of connection. Some were tender, others painful, but all were chapters in her journey. She knows her story isn’t defined by a single daydream or even a single romance. It’s a collection of moments, both joyful and raw, stitched together by her resilience.
Throughout her morning, Candy seeks small acts of self-love: moisturising her skin, picking an outfit that makes her feel good, and sipping coffee slowly. Each gesture is a reminder that she’s worthy of love, care, and desire. Even in solitude, she nurtures herself in ways that no one else can. The daydreams may hurt, but they also push her to keep hoping, to keep searching for the kind of love that makes the pain worth it.
Navigating Dysphoria and Self-Acceptance
Candy’s routine serves as both a comfort and a reminder of the challenges she continues to face. Dysphoria is a persistent companion, whispering doubts that she has long worked to quiet. Yet each small act of care—whether it’s applying makeup to accentuate her features or choosing clothes that reflect her true self—is a declaration of love and resilience. These moments, though sometimes tinged with pain, are also celebrations of how far she’s come.
She stands in front of the mirror, meeting her own gaze. It’s a complicated reflection—trauma interwoven with strength, fear tempered by hope. Candy lets herself feel the weight of it all, embracing both her scars and her joy. She reminds herself that she is worthy of love, that she doesn’t need to fit anyone’s definition but her own. As she breathes deeply, she begins to feel a little lighter, a little more anchored.
The Strength in Vulnerability
Throughout the day, Candy carries the weight of her memories—the sweet ones, the painful ones, and everything in between. Vulnerability is both her armour and her challenge. She recalls times when she opened herself up to love, only to be met with rejection or betrayal. But for every moment of pain, there were also moments of laughter, connection, and genuine intimacy. These memories, woven into her identity, shape who she is and how she loves.
It would be easy to retreat behind walls, to guard her heart from further hurt. But Candy knows that vulnerability is also where true connection happens. She refuses to let fear dictate her life. When she imagines the future, she sees herself continuing to show up—flawed, hopeful, and deeply human. For her, love isn’t just a daydream; it’s something worth fighting for, even when it feels out of reach.
Meeting Up with Friends
Candy closes her laptop and gets ready to meet up with her friend Nic at a nearby coffee shop. It’s mid-fall, but living in the South, the weather isn’t always predictable. She steps out onto her porch to gauge the temperature and smiles—it’s just the right kind of chilly for a sweater or a light jacket. Candy quickly grabs her leather jacket, checks her phone, and realises she’s running late. “Shit, I’m running late. Be there soon!” she texts Nic as she locks her door and heads out. The coffee shop is only a few blocks away, and the crisp air makes the walk enjoyable.
Candy orders a black coffee and finds Nic waiting outside on a park bench. “It finally got cold!” she exclaims as she sits down.
“Right? But I’m not ready for winter yet,” Nic replies.
“Same here.”
They chat about work and life, eventually steering the conversation toward their love lives. Nic has been seeing RJ, a butch she met during a road trip. Candy is impressed—and a bit envious—that their relationship has survived long-distance. Dating as a queer, cis woman seems easier compared to Candy’s experiences as a trans woman.
Hopeful Conversations and Daydreams
Jak mentions the possibility of RJ moving closer, expressing exhaustion with long-distance. “I’d tease you about U-hauling, but I think the expiration date on that joke is six months,” Candy quips with a grin.
“Yeah, who would’ve guessed one night would turn into a few years? Anything new with you?” Jak asks.
“You think I’d keep it from you if there was?”
“Fair point.”
Candy admits to a recent daydream, one filled with romance and hope. Despite her frustrations with dating, she can’t quite let go of the belief that love will eventually come her way. Jak smiles and reminds her, “Remember what you told me when I wanted to bail on RJ before catching feelings? Stay open.”
“Yeah. Stay open,” Candy echoes, taking a deep breath. Beneath the loneliness and bitter moments, she remains a hopeless romantic. “See you at the bar tonight?” she asks before parting.
Getting Ready for the Night Out
Back at home, Candy prepares for her night out. She runs through a mental checklist: dress, lipstick, boots—no leggings in case there’s dancing—her favourite earrings, a necklace, and of course, her leather jacket. She double-checks her purse for her wallet and keys; ever since she lost them months ago, her anxiety spikes whenever she goes out. A final glance in the mirror confirms everything is in place. She takes a deep breath, steeling herself for whatever the night might bring.
The bar is across town, and with traffic and gentrification making parking scarce, Candy ends up parking several blocks away. It’s one of the few places in the city where the crowd is mostly queer, a rarity that makes the hassle worth it. Inside, the bar is buzzing with energy—cheap cocktails, decent beer, and a patio for escape when the noise grows too much. Candy orders a bourbon and heads out back to join Nic and their circle of friends.
A Night of Dancing
As Candy finishes her drink, the DJ’s set draws her back inside. The rare mix of country heartbreak songs and queer joy fills the room, and she can’t resist the dance floor. Moving with the rhythm, she lets herself be carried away, caught up in the rare moment of collective release. It’s not often that queer spaces offer this blend of nostalgia and liberation, and Candy intends to make the most of it.
Amidst the crowd, Candy’s eyes are drawn to a woman with short hair, wearing a button-up flannel over a black t-shirt and sporting bright-red lipstick. There’s something magnetic about her, and Candy can’t help but steal glances. She feels awkward, the weight of her crush making her want to look away. But when she dares to meet the woman’s eyes again, she’s surprised to see a smile. Slowly, they dance toward each other, tension building with every step, neither one breaking the silent connection.
Moments of Courage
Dancing with abandon on a crowded floor wasn’t something Candy always felt comfortable doing, but tonight, there’s a rare feeling of freedom. The woman with the short hair and red lipstick continues to hold her gaze as they move closer, the music providing a backdrop to the unspoken connection building between them. Candy’s heart races, a mixture of nerves and excitement coursing through her. She takes a breath and lets herself smile, meeting the woman halfway as they continue to dance, each step a quiet act of courage.
They don’t speak at first—words feel unnecessary. Their movements speak for them, a silent conversation carried out in glances, small touches, and the rhythm of the music. For Candy, moments like these are reminders that connection is possible, even when self-doubt tries to creep in. She lets herself be present, basking in the warmth of shared space and mutual attraction.
Queer Girls Dream Romance
Eventually, the woman leans in, her voice cutting through the music. “I’m Kerry,” she says, her smile disarming. Candy introduces herself, the exchange simple but charged. They step to the side, finding a quieter spot where the noise fades just enough for conversation. They talk about everything and nothing—the music, the bar, life in the city. Candy finds herself laughing easily, her usual walls softened by the warmth of Kerry’s presence.
As the night goes on, their connection deepens. The vulnerability of sharing hopes and scars feels unexpectedly natural, and Candy finds herself opening up in ways she hadn’t anticipated. Kerry listens with genuine interest, her gaze never wavering. It’s a rare feeling of being fully seen, and Candy lets herself linger in it, knowing moments like these are fleeting but precious.
Moments of Courage
Dancing with abandon on a crowded floor wasn’t something Candy always felt comfortable doing, but tonight, there’s a rare feeling of freedom. The woman with the short hair and red lipstick continues to hold her gaze as they move closer, the music providing a backdrop to the unspoken connection building between them. Candy’s heart races, a mixture of nerves and excitement coursing through her. She takes a breath and lets herself smile, meeting the woman halfway as they continue to dance, each step a quiet act of courage.
They don’t speak at first—words feel unnecessary. Their movements speak for them, a silent conversation carried out in glances, small touches, and the rhythm of the music. For Candy, moments like these are reminders that connection is possible, even when self-doubt tries to creep in. She lets herself be present, basking in the warmth of shared space and mutual attraction.
Taking a Chance
Candy steps off the dance floor, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement. Was the tension she felt with Kerry real, or was it all in her head? She heads to the bar, hoping a drink will help settle her racing thoughts. Before she can fully gather herself, Kerry appears beside her, smiling. “Whatcha drinking? Let me get the next round,” Kerry offers, confidence radiating from her.
Flustered, Candy takes a moment to respond. “Uh, sure. Bourbon, neat,” she manages.
“Great choice,” Kerry replies, ordering two bourbons. “A woman after my own heart.”
As they exchange names, Candy can’t help but blush. The connection feels genuine, immediate, and slightly surreal.
Opening Up
With drinks in hand, Candy and Kerry step outside so Kerry can smoke. Minutes turn into hours as conversation flows effortlessly. Candy learns that Kerry, originally from a nearby town, moved to the West Coast years ago. “Didn’t think I’d meet someone like you back here,” Kerry admits, her voice soft and eyes bright.
Candy blushes, responding playfully but with genuine feeling. As their conversation continues, they share a kiss—a moment that feels both exhilarating and deeply affirming. “Want to get out of here?” Kerry asks. Candy hesitates only for a moment before saying yes, knowing that honesty is key. “I’m trans,” she adds.
“That’s cool,” Kerry replies without missing a beat. “Let’s go.”
A Night to Remember
Candy and Kerry drive out of the city, the anticipation between them palpable. Kerry’s family home is quiet and dark, surrounded by stars that Candy hadn’t seen in years. They sit on the tailgate of Candy’s truck, sharing hot toddies and gazing up at the sky. “You were right,” Candy whispers. “These stars are beautiful.” Kerry smiles, leaning in to kiss her shoulder. It’s a moment of peace, tenderness, and connection.
The hours that follow are a whirlwind of passion, intimacy, and shared laughter. They explore one another’s touch, finding a rhythm that feels safe and natural. Candy’s mind drifts to the vulnerability of it all—how rare it is to feel this kind of acceptance and desire. She lets herself fully be present, savouring every moment without fear.
Morning Reflections
The next morning, Candy wakes to the smell of coffee. Kerry sits next to her, scrolling on a tablet and grinning. “Good morning, gorgeous,” she greets, handing Candy a mug. For a moment, Candy wonders if this is another daydream, but the warmth of the coffee grounds her. It’s real, all of it. After breakfast, Candy gathers her things, hesitant to break the spell of the night before.
“I’d love to see you again,” she says, trying to sound casual but feeling anything but.
Kerry’s smile falters slightly. “I’d love that too, but I have to head back West soon. My job’s calling me back. It might not be for a while.”
Disappointment washes over Candy, but she nods, masking her feelings. They agree to stay in touch through texts and calls, keeping things open-ended but uncertain. Before parting, they share one last kiss, a mixture of hope, longing, and the bittersweet realisation that not all connections can last forever.
Doubts and Realities
As Candy drives home, a storm of emotions churns within her—disappointment, frustration, and a lingering ache. “Let’s not build anything serious” echoes in her mind, a reminder of the conditional love she’s too often encountered. Is this all trans queer women can hope for? Candy shakes her head, knowing it’s not entirely fair to place the blame solely on Kerry. Loving her comes with its own complexities—trusting, opening up, and guiding partners through intimacy that feels safe and affirming.
She arrives home, weary. The onset of fall hasn’t been kind, and seasonal depression weighs heavily on her. Candy confides in Nic later that night, voicing the loneliness that comes with being a trans woman who loves women. “For me, sex and romance always carry some intensity,” she admits. “I haven’t been touched in so long; it’s hard not to feel too much.”
Seeking Comfort and Clarity
Nic listens, offering reassurance. “It wasn’t all planned, Candy. This can’t be easy for her either. You’re amazing—and if she doesn’t know that, it’s her loss.” Candy sighs, nodding but still wary. “What if she finds someone less complicated?” she whispers.
“Then you move on,” Nic replies, “but maybe try staying open to what this could be.”
The next morning, a text from Kerry appears: “Hey, I’m back safe. Want to talk tonight?” Candy reads it, torn between hope and fear, knowing she’ll need to guard her heart.
Fading Connections
Over the next few months, Candy and Kerry’s connection begins to wane. Texts become sporadic, calls are fewer, and the distance between them feels heavier than ever. By late December, it’s been weeks since they last spoke. One day, as Candy works from home, her phone vibrates—a message from Kerry. “Hey, Candy. Hope you’re well. I’m back in town for the holidays. Want to grab a drink?”
Candy’s heart races. She agrees, knowing the night will stir up old feelings and unresolved heartache. Seeing Kerry again feels both exhilarating and painful, reopening wounds that had begun to scar over. There was no dramatic ending before—just distance, unmet expectations, and lingering questions.
One Last Chance
Meeting Kerry again is everything Candy expected—wonderful and awful. They reminisce, laugh, and feel the chemistry still between them. But Candy makes it clear: she can’t open her heart, only for it to be broken again when Kerry inevitably leaves. “If things change, would you be open to trying again?” Kerry asks.
Candy shakes her head, her voice steady but her heart breaking. “Don’t dangle possibilities you’re not even planning for. I can’t keep hoping for what may never come.” They part with a final kiss, bittersweet and resigned.
Accepting What Is
Candy drives home after their last meeting, the weight of finality settling in her chest. She replays their conversation, the ache of “what-ifs” clinging to her thoughts. But as painful as it is, Candy knows she made the right choice. She deserves more than uncertainty—she deserves love that isn’t conditional or fleeting.
In the days that follow, Candy focuses on healing, finding strength in herself and the community around her. She keeps her heart open, not for what could have been, but for what may come next—a step toward hope and self-love.